Carols for Politicians

God Rest

God rest Parliamentarians

Let nothing you dismay!

Despite the deep austerity

We have increased your pay.

Expenses are just history.

“Recall” has gone away.

Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,

Comfort and joy.

Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.

Jingle Bells

Dashing through your dough, in a socialistic way,

Taxing as we go, laughing all the way.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Balls on a spending binge, debt rising very high,

What fun it is to tax and tax and bleed the wealthy dry!

Oh!

Mansion tax.  Borrow max.  Make the bankers pay.

Tomorrow’s kids will pay the cost, so let’s enjoy today!

Oh!

Gurning Ed, looks well fed, smug and free of stress.

He’ll waste all your money then let Tories fix his mess.

White Christmas

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

With every UKIPper I know

Where the borders tighten

Skin colour lightens

Close to the purity of snow.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas

With every Christmas card I write

Immigrants should be put to flight

So that all your Christmases are white.

Hark

Hark! The party whips ensure

You’re politically pure.

MPs need to understand

Independent thought is banned.

Reselection pays the rent,

Forget your constituents.

Open primaries insist

Choosing from the party list.

Hark! The party whips all call,

Keeping their MPs in thrall.

Deck the Hills

Deck the hills with housing folly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Making Brandon Lewis jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Treasure not the countryside

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Keep on building far and wide

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Though the voters say “Enough!”

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Keep on building; call their bluff

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Cheerfully ignore their cries

Fa la la la la, la la la la

We’re voted out? What a surprise!

Fa la la la la, la la la la